To my bestfriends, my loves, for those who have made in impact in my life.

As I prepare to make myself to become a husband to my best friend and lover; I reflect upon those in my life through time that have held those titles. To those those who have come and gone in my life leaving a definite impact for good or ill. To those who still and always will play a part in my life and change it for good or ill on a daily basis. The thoughts of those who I have and will always love deeply. To those I have lost contact with or lost that bond with for whatever reason. My thoughts as of late have been on them and what makes them special to me that they've left a chunk in me and hopefully I in them and why I will never forget them. My thoughts have also been on her and what makes her different.

Why is it that people come into your life just to leave; yes I understand to teach you something and so on and so forth. How much of that is true and how much of it is just a statement to make you feel better once your heart is broken. Every best friend and lover I have ever had I have loved deeply and for those not in my life anymore, for whatever reasons; it has always left my heart broken and I still find myself missing those who once played such an important role in my life. Not to sound ungrateful for my soon to be wife; I am so lucky to have her, I love her so very deeply, trust her beyond all measure, and adore her more healthy and over all more so in every way. All of the reasons why she is who she is in my life are for reasons that are all too lengthy for all the book ever written. I love her but I also have loved others and they've been very, VERY close to me.

I worry what will come of these blog posts because I will be posting in chronological order, those who these people are, why they where or are along as to who they are and memories of them. I worry because of how she might take some of what I say about those people, I worry about what those people when reading this might take what I say about all of this. I am not doing this to offend, make jealous or point anyone out in a negative light, or even for that matter a positive light. This is and will be one part homage, one part a dissection of the relationships, and honestly one part a comparison. NOT to see who was or is right for me. But to see how I have changed, how my needs, wants and desires in another person have changed. I also want to know what makes everyone who has played or plays those roles in my life so special to me.

Wish me luck, this should be a hard, emotionally charged and uncomfortable yet fun and lucky chance to open up my heart and feel and remember things locked away in this soul of mine.

P.S. I won't be posting every single person. That would be WAY too many people, but if I don't post about them it doesn't mean they are any less to me.