My love letter (Precious Smartphone)

To my dearest Smartphone,

You're not my first, nor will you be my last, but I love and cherish you my precious smartphone. Our torrid love affair has finally been made known to my wife as I've never really kept our love affair very discreet. Because of you my wife and I now argue and fight all the time because I can't ever seem to put you down. She is so insanely jealous of you that I fear that one day she might murder you in some devious, messy way.

Why is she jealous you may be asking, well I will tell you. My wife is jealous of you because of the lengthy amount of time and attention I give you on a daily basis. I never ignore your siren like call, in fact I rush to be by your side when I hear you call out for me. She hates you for the way I hold and caress your stunningly beautiful chassis. She always gives me death glares while I stare at you for hours on end. You hypnotize me with your ability to always keep me entertained. How could she not be jealous of you? What I do with you, I should be doing with her. Try as I might, I cannot resist you and what you have to offer me.

You are so beautiful and I will not go another second longer without singing your praise. First thing I love about your form is that you only weigh 5.26 oz. and that makes you so light on your feet. Your True HD-IPS display is huge, and it’s just the way I like my screens. I could stare at your big beautiful screen until my eyes fall out of my head.

I’m a gentlemen though so let me tell you about how great you are on the inside.

I love you for your brains. You're such a quick thinker with your lightning quick quad-core processor and two GB of RAM. Such a good memory too, thirty-two GB right out the box is more than a man like me could ever ask for. Oh and how dare I forget about your eye, 13MP makes catching stunning pictures so easy, they all come out as gorgeous as you are. I also really appreciate how much you take care of yourself by automatically updating to Lollipop as well as keeping all my applications running smooth.

Speaking of applications, why did you come into my life and make my life so easy in so many ways? I can keep track of my time, look up a whole world of knowledge as well as having a whole library of scriptures right at my fingertips. I know others would play games with you, but not me. Playing games with you just isn't my style baby. I have to admit though that watching cat videos on YouTube with you is always good for a chuckle when I am down; not to mention how you feed my addiction to Facebook. You always know what I need to feel secure.

Precious Smartphone I know I tell you I love you but I have to confess something because I've got to be honest with you and myself. Precious Smartphone, I hate your stinking guts! We have a very unbalanced, very dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship with each other. You take up so much of my time that my family suffers for it and I've become a bad role model to my daughters. You're in my hands so much that they think it’s normal and I can't, I won't have it any longer. You're the first thing I see when I get up and the last before bed. You're my worst addiction. I'm dependent on you being with me every second of every day, yet you could care less if it was me or just any other guy. I can't do this anymore and yet I don't dare even picture myself without you in my life. I love you. I hate you.

Forever your slave,

Brad